How to co-sleep safely, the rules we should all know?

Question

We've ended up bed sharing more by accident than choice, and I'd rather do it as safely as we can than keep pretending it isn't happening. What are the actual dos and don'ts?

Gemma Coe · Accepted Answer

Hi Nadia, This is a really sensible0 way to approach it. The safest place for a baby is their own clear, separate sleep space, but many families either choose to bed-share or find that it happens unexpectedly when nights become difficult. If there is any possibility that your baby may come into your bed, it is far better to prepare for that in advance than to make decisions for the first time when you are exhausted at 2am. Rather than trying to condense all of the guidance here, I would direct you to The Lullaby Trust’s co-sleeping guidance. It clearly explains when co-sleeping should be avoided completely, how to make the sleep space safer, and answers lots of frequently asked questions. There is also a link to the research used to inform the advice. Whether you intend to bed-share from the start or think it may only happen occasionally on a particularly challenging night, this is guidance that I would recommend every family reads in advance. I hope that helps! https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/

Priya · Answer

Best thing I did was actually read up on it properly instead of winging it. Baby on their back, firm flat mattress, no smoking, nothing to drink and no meds that make you drowsy, and keep your pillows and duvet well away from them. Please have a look at the Lullaby Trust site though rather than trusting a stranger on a forum, me included. They spell out when it's much riskier, like if baby was premature or small, and the big one, never fall asleep with them on a sofa or in an armchair.

Hannah · Answer

Agree with reading the official stuff first. The thing that worked for us as a halfway house was one of those bedside cribs that clips onto your bed. She was right there for feeds but had her own flat space with nothing over her. Took the edge off my worrying about full bed sharing.

Sarah · Answer

One thing nobody told me, if you're breastfeeding the position you naturally end up in, curled round them with your arm up above their head, actually makes a protective little space and stops you rolling onto them. Look up the curled C position. Made me feel a lot better once I understood there was some logic to it.

Danielle · Answer

We never planned to but reflux meant she'd only settle on me. My only advice is be really honest with yourself about the risk factors instead of just telling yourself it's fine. We read through the Basis (Baby Sleep Info Source) pages, really calm and evidence based, not preachy at all.