Midnight menace

Hi Josh, Thanks for your question. With this age group, it helps to make the boundary really clear. He either can come into your bed during the night, or he can’t. If the answer is that he needs to stay in his own bed, the response needs to be as consistent and predictable as possible. A colour-changing light or sleep trainer can provide a helpful visual cue. You could set it to show a dim red light overnight and change to bright green at the time he is allowed to get up. You can then use a simple traffic-light message: Red means bed. Green means go, go, go! Explain and practise this during the day, rather than introducing it for the first time at 1am. When the light is red, the expectation is that he stays in his bed. When it turns green, he can get up and come to find you. If he comes into your room overnight, gently guide him back and remind him: “Your light is red. Red means bed.” Once he is back in bed, give him some clear actions to follow: “Lie down, close your eyes and be as quiet as a mouse until your light turns green.” Children of this age do not have a huge amount of impulse control, so you may need to repeat this many times at first. It can take a lot of patience and effort, particularly during the first few nights, but the boundary should become clearer with consistent repetition. You can also practise impulse control through play during the day. Games such as Simon Says, Red Light-Green Light and Freeze Dance all encourage children to pause, listen and think before acting. He may be upset when you first introduce the new boundary, particularly if climbing into your bed has become a familiar and comfortable part of the night. The visual cue, daytime practice and a calm, consistent response will help the boundary feel much clearer and fairer to him. I hope that helps, and I hope your body gets some much-needed sleep soon!